I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
