im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
