I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
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He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.