Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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