carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
