somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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