I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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