matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
