Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
