I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
