if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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