Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
how does that bad decision feel?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize