why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
