if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
