It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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