Having a random hookup so left but love u
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
