I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
