My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
