He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
