not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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