The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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