New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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