hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she peed on how many people?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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