it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
