ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
its not stalking. its research.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
