I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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