3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
