forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
