I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
