I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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