the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize