She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
