i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
