I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
