Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
