If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize