Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
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Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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