hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
