I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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