"it" just moved
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
