Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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