i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
