Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

did you get engaged???

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(443): View more from Maryland

just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad

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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

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(936): View more from Texas

you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

(1-936): View more from Texas

I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation

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(773): View more from Illinois

I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??

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(307): View more from Wyoming

hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.

(1-307): View more from Wyoming

no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.

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