so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
