these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That reminds me...we need to get swords
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize