So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
that may or may not have been my penis.
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