In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize