He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
