I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I am one with the molecules
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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