I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
