Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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