Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
