I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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