So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
