Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
