they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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