Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
