i'm lost and i look like a hooker
high people should be assigned attendants
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
