I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I smell like Dick and happiness
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
