The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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