windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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