you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
