it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I am naked and annoyed.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
