I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
